Week 34

At this point in pregnancy, growth starts happening at a phenomenal rate. In just the past couple days Em has gotten a whole lot bigger...but she still gets around very well without complaint. I just wish I could carry a little bit of the burden for her...

Week 34

On Saturday, we attended our first of many classes -- a day-long session on birthing. Oh, I had a lot to learn! For instance, before Saturday I didn't know that "labor" is really just the period of time that the cervix is dilating -- not a generic term for the whole birthing process start to end. Labor is complete once the cervix has dilated to 10 cm., and that's when the Pushing begins.

Our instructor, Stacy, was fantastic. She kept the class interesting and entertaining instead of the dry and dull affair it could have been. She's an RN who has delivered billions and billions of babies, so she's seen everything.

Right in the beginning of class, we went around the room introducing ourselves and bringing up a question or concern. My concern was my own squeamishness -- I didn't know how much I'd be able to watch. But after the morning session, when we learned all the stages of birthing, we watched video of three births. To my own surprise I was able to watch each all the way through, not shying away from the "icky" element. This made me more confident that I'll be able to watch Mather's birth without fainting! I now know what to expect.

One of the most interesting experiments we did was a focusing exercise with ice. To simulate contraction, we (boys and girls!) each had a cup of ice. At the "start" of the contraction, we'd each have to grab a full handful of ice. We hold onto the ice, palm open for a period of time until Stacy told us to clench our hands around the ice (this represented the climax of the contraction) before we could finally put the ice back in the cup. It doesn't sound so bad, but the first time she had us do it was pretty awful. I was squirming away in my seat.

Then she had us do it again, but this time she taught us to use a focus point to divert our attention. For real childbirth, a lot of people bring in a compelling vacation photo, a picture of a pet, or somesuch to serve as their focus point, but all I had was some schmootz on my sock to stare at. It worked, though -- the second time around wasn't nearly as bad.

The third time we did it Stacy had us take the focus one step further. We closed our eyes and built a visualization. We were told to pick a place or image that relaxed us. Emily visualized the Indian Springs Spa in Calistoga, a place we went together a number of years ago (Em's also been there without me, with her mom). I envisioned my "solo spot", a place along McColl Gulch in the North Cascade mountains, Washington State, where I spent three days alone, fasting, when I was on Outward Bound 13 years ago.

This third try was the easiest and over the quickest. Em and I were both surprised to find out that on each successive try, the period of time with ice in hand was longer -- 30 seconds, 1 minute, and finally a minute 30. This was to simulate early, mid and late contraction lengths. It really drove the point home that visualization and focus make a difference in dealing with pain. While a handful of ice may not be as bad as a contraction, the same tactics can still help. It was encouraging.

Attending this class feels like we've stepped up another rung of the ladder, and that Mather's birth is really right around the corner. Of course we're nervous, and I know Emily's wondering how she'll do, but I'm very confident. Many husbands say they gain a whole new respect for the strength of their wives based on watching them birth a child. In my case, I know how strong Emily is -- she's amazing, by far the most capable person I know -- so I'm looking forward to childbirth merely confirming that. It will be difficult, it will be painful, I know -- but Emily is strong and passionate, and ready for the challenge. And I'll be there with her, doing what I can to help her breathe, help her focus, and if nothing else, to hold her hand.