You may recall previous mention of Mather's sleep habits. Here is a sleep diary for Mather's first four months (loosely recalled, due to Momily's sleep deprevation):
Week one: Sleeping like a baby. She'll fall asleep whenever, wherever, and however she chooses.
Weeks two-four: Increasing need for help falling asleep - must be rocked, held, or nursed to sleep. Eats a lot during the night. Momily sleeps sitting up in bed, with My BreastFriend nursing pillow attached for hours on end. Mather sleeps most of the night on the pillow, most attempts to move her result in crying that can only be consoled by more eating.
Months two and three: Still needs help falling asleep. Not too interested in staying asleep for long periods. Too excited about exploring the world around her. Daytime crankiness gets progressively worse. Mather and Momily perfect the side-lying nursing position. Mather is officially co-sleeping through most of the night. Again, attempts to move her into her Moses Basket are often unsuccessful.
Month four: Continuing on the same pattern. Momily is getting increasingly uncomfortable with the decreased mobility during the night. Mather seems to get disrupted by the tossing and turning. The once or twice nightly crying spells can no longer be soothed by the breast, she must be held and rocked - oftentimes for 30 minutes or more.
Which brings us to Friday... the turning point!
The two big catalysts for change:
1) Confirmation from the doctor that Mather can go 8-10 hours without eating at night. We were concerned that because of her smaller size, she still needed to eat every 2-3 hours day and night.
2) At four months old, babies start building habits. We did not want Mather to co-sleep, nor did we want her to rely on us rocking and holding her in order to fall asleep.
So, the doctor suggests the following plan: Pick a bedtime and stick to it. Design a bedtime routine - books, lullabyes, bath, massage, etc. Put the baby down when she is tired but not yet asleep, it is o.k. to let her cry - Mather will not hate us. When she is crying, make a plan of how often she gets checked on and consoled. Also make a plan of when she will be fed - once or twice during the night. We decide on "sometime after midnight" and then "no sooner than 4 hours after she eats the first time".
Following are Friday's results:
7:10pm Mather eats dinner.
7:25pm Massage, disposable diaper (she's in cloth during the day), pajamas, one poem, one book.
7:40pm Wrapped into swaddle blanket (dubbed 'straight jacket' by friends) and put down in her crib, lights out, door closed.
7:41pm Crying begins. We wait 5 minutes.
7:46pm Dan checks and consoles - places a hand firmly on her chest to let her know that she's not alone and tells her that she's o.k. - then he leaves the room, crying continues. We wait 10 minutes.
7:57pm Same routine - check and console. Now we wait 20 minutes.
8:20pm 20 minutes is up. Mather has been quiet for about 2-3 minutes, we're not going in to check on her. It only took 40 minutes!! We were expecting hours.
10:30pm Light fussing. Dan assures her that all is o.k. She quiets back down quickly.
11:45pm Light fussing. Dan re-assures her. Again, a quick recovery.
1:15am Light fussing, time to eat. Momily feeds Mather while sitting up in bed, no nursing pillow. Momily must stay awake to move Mather back into the crib. She eats for 10 minutes and goes down smoothly in her crib.
3:30am Light fussing. Dan soothes her. Once again, a quick recovery.
5:30am Light fussing, time to eat. Remainder of the night is spent co-sleeping since the sun is coming up soon.
8:00am Everyone is awake... it wasn't so bad!!
Last night Dan and I went out to the opera and Grandma Julie was on babysitting duty. She agreed to abide by the new plan. Following is her diary:
7:15pm Bottle
7:30pm Diaper change, pajamas, swaddle, swaddle do-over, read a book (Mather is gurgly and smiley)
7:45pm Placed into the crib. Sang songs.
8:00pm Lights out!
10:45pm We return, fully expecting to come home to a crying baby. Nope! She never made a peep after Julie shut the door.
The middle of the night routine was the same as the previous night. The 3-4 o'clock stretch is a little tough. A little bit of fussing, a little bit of soothing, 2 meals, and a happy family wakes up around 8 o'clock!
Photographic Evidence:
5 comments:
maybe it's a cocoon, not a straight jacket? gotta say, though, it sure makes me think of a straight jacket.
but as long as the three of you can get your zzz's!
is mather going to turn into a butterfly? or just a bug-eating crazy person?
Wow, guys! This is great progress! Many congratulations to you - I know it must be tough to listen to Mather cry, but it certainly paid off. Can't wait to see you again soon.
Hooray! That's wonderful! She sure is growing up.
Wow, Emily wasn't kidding--you two have been prolific lately (in terms of verbiage that is). And Mather is indeed maturing quickly--even at 11+ pounds.
Nice running into Emily on the N this evening--I'll try to remember to stop by here more often.
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