Last Day of Paternity Leave

Music is an interesting gatekeeper in life. I remember different periods through the filter of a song I was listening to. When I remember being a morose teen reading Kerouac, I hear Pearl Jam's "Immortality" in my head; when I think of Emily and I riding a train through the Welsh countryside I recall R.E.M.'s Driver 8. I read Lemony Snicket to a soundtrack by the Postal Service and I clearly remember the Belle & Sebastian song that was playing when Emily's labor started to get complicated.

One thing Mather and I have been able to bond to was music. I love to sing along to my favorite bands and Mather always loves to listen (no, seriously, she smiles and pays attention). It is fortunate that Mather is so young. In her five and a half months of life she's only been exposed to a handful of singers. She does not yet realize that I am in fact a terrible singer. A terrible singer.

Tuesday was Emily's tax deadline and my last day of paternity leave. That night we had tickets to see the Shins, one of my five favorite bands (with my mom signed on as Mathersitter). In the late afternoon before the concert, Mather was getting fidgety and upset. I put a mix of Shins songs on the stereo and sang along to keep her calm. I continued singing while giving her a bottle of milk and rocking her to sleep -- for the last time during my leave. Wednesday would bring daycare and a return to the office.

With her eyes fluttering open and closed, she finally drifted to sleep during the beautiful and melancholy A Comet Appears. It's now only a day later, but I realize already that this is the song that will linger in my memory -- I will always associate it with my leave, and our time bonding. While the lyrics are quite sad, the melody is uplifting. I admit that I shed a couple tears when the Shins performed it live later that evening.

It is a bittersweet feeling to go back to work. I love my colleagues and the work we do, but I enjoyed the rhythm of our days at home.

Good times together.